Category: Health and Wellness
I want to pick people's brains and see what you guys can come up with for tips on how to be a happier person. I'm coming from the premise that we all can be happy if we want to, but we tend to get in our own way. No, I'm not asking for personal help, as I'm quite happy and content. But I bet this might help other people, and I haven't seen such a topic in this particular board.
I have learned that it helps to get rid of the people who causes you a lot of stress in your life. Things are so much easier.
live your life for you, no one else.
That tip is very true. When I was still employed, my last couple of years there were very toxic. Everyone hated the current director and people she promoted to management positions. Hanging around co-workers who did nothing but bitch was very disheartening. When I started staying more to myself and not listening to all the negativity, I was much more content in my own job.
Another tip is just to try to think more positively and see the positive side of every situation. And yes, that is possible. Even things that are irritating or sad can have a positive side. You may have to spend some time thinking about it and trying to find the positive, but it can be done. And thinking that way gets easier the more you do it.
Lots of drugs, most of which are illegal.
try new things even if you're afraid, cause you might find you like them.
Guard your health. If you are as healthy as you can be then you have less concerns. Also don't get in to situations you know might cause issues down the line, because these are diffidcult to get out of, and that leads to unhappiness, such as to much debt. Last I think it is a good practice to get outside daily or as offten as possible. Cold or heat it seems to do a mental lift.
Like someone said, if you are healthy, you will be generally happier. I read a few simple tips to be a happier person. Of course, many things are easier said than done, but the two I remember most are to give more, and expect less. You'll feel good about giving, and if your standards are lower, you'll find you can make friends more easily with more people, and you will not be disappointed if something or someone doesn't meet your standards.
I'm just going to be the ashole in this board and say this. For a lot of people I've met that are unhappy, the perfect solution for them has been to get the hell over it. I'm sorry, but most of what people call unhappy, especially in the yoounger generation such as those of my age, is not unhappiness. Your dad not giving you the car so you can go sleep with the head cheerleader, while unfortunate, is not a call for wrist cutting. Your liver being eaten out by a ravenous virus spread by monkeys, is a great reason for being unhappy, and I will be happy to let you scream at me if it will make you feel better.
So I say this, if you have a genuine reason for being unhappy, see example on monkey borne viruses, then find someone who will hold you, pat your back and make you feel like everything is goig to be ok. Having a friend who will drop what they are doing to talk to you, is rare and valuable, and it will always make you feel better. If your just being unhappy because its the latest thing to do, and unhappiness is the new pink according to the latest magazine you read, have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.
focus on yourself, and don't worry about how others perceive you.
OK, now I'll throw some in. First, don't let anyone tell you that if you don't live up to anything written above, you won't be happy. There's no right or wrong way about it.
Next, as much as possible, avoid comparing yourself with others. Currently there is a bug in the human nature software that makes it so if you compare yourself with others, you always see yourself as the one who is lacking or lesser or who has missed out. This is the crack cocaine of misery, so just say no.
Next, understand that for one thing, most people's opinions of you do not matter, save for a select few people you really love or are close to. I've come to believe that when others criticize you, it's more about them than it is you. These people are trying to get under your skin. Do not allow them to do so. Oh, and there is no invisible audience watching every move of yours and finding ways to negatively criticize you. Don't worry about what "people" think because they're not watching.
I also agree with one somebody else posted above. The higher you set your expectations, the more likely you will suffer disappointment. I dunno where the line is between settling and just being realistic, but maybe that's for others to figure out.
OK, anybody have anymore?
Aah, use fewer platitudes. ;)
Ok, this is not entirely warranted I guess, but I see so many of these "no one can criticize you, love yourself, do whatever makes you feel happy" .. it's not true always, there is such a thing as good criticism, may be you should sometimes behave differently, may be taking a look at yourself will make you happier in the long run.
For a more concrete advice, which is my thing, work out, even if it is hard to start, hot or cold showers after are amazing, have a glass of wine occasionally, sit outside and just listen and take in the sights and sounds and smells and remind you that this world can be amazing. Find goals to pursue and go for them, even if you fail, you tried, and you'll try again and succeed.
Don't sit at home feeling sorry for yourself, don't spend too much time on the Zone or any internet chat board, travel if you can, do new things if you can, stay healthy but remember to spoil yourself at least once a week, but not every day, else you get bored of it.
Variety, I think, is key.
I thought I'd post this idea here, and I think it also applies to my other topic in this board. Abandon perfectionism. Nobody is perfect. That means you, me, your romantic partner, people in authority, those with money and power, the lot of them, absolutely imperfect. Accept this and relax, knowing you're in good company with your assorted faults.
self-acceptance is key.
like anything worth having and treasuring happiness must be worked toward. Happiness comes from within. It is a choice. Giveing back to others, loving others, and laughing are the best ways to make that dchoice. Looking at the world with the eyes of a child also helps.
To me I'm happiest when being part of the solution. Political discourse, religious rhetoric, inspirational fluff, all that has never meant anything to me.
Now, jumping in the game, helping out, being part of the solution and *doing something* about a situation, now that's the bomb!